| Christmas sux. |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|02:58 pm] |
Between ignoring drunk calls from my mother (which has lately resulted in voicemails like "Your cousin's kids are the ugliest things ever" at 1 am), Adam not being here, and all my extended family doing their own wife/kids get togethers and never remembering that I exist anyway, my Christmas is going to consist of me sitting at home by myself doing nothing. I hate going to other people's family Christmas get togethers because I feel like a HUGE 5th wheel, and I no longer have the same pack of orphan friends that I used to do the holidays for all the time. So no dinners, no opening presents, de nada.
uuuuuuuugh, I just want the holiday season over with, already. It's depressing as hell to spend it alone |
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| Wishlist stuff. |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|06:13 pm] |
For those of you who have asked what I want for Christmas or as a Christmas/BDay present (the bane of all Saggitariuses - the combined bday/xmas!), pretty much everything is on my Amazon Wishlist, from little stuff to big stuff that I know I'm not going to get, lol. But yeah, use that.
Also, thanks to the person who sent me the graphic novels (I don't name names to preserve privacy). I NEEEEEDED the next installment on all of those. <3 |
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| raperaperape |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|02:18 pm] |
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Adam freezing his butt off in the snow in North Carolina earlier today. He has that look that a shivering puppy would give you when you finally realized that you forgot to let him in during a storm. Sort of an abject misery/don't-you-feel-guilty/come-cuddle-me thing. /molest /molest /molest
Doesn't he look like an overgrown boy? It's kind of weird to think that he's turning 30 on Sunday. |
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| swimming upstream |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|12:53 am] |
The more I talk to people about their relationships, the more I realize that I do not want to go down the same path with mine. I don't want anything to be on the down low. I don't want either of us to keep a stable of possible future booty calls for those just-in-case moments where we can justify fucking someone else on a technicality. I don't want to waste time, say things we don't mean because we feel like we have to, or feel needed in that bad, codependent way. I don't want to kiss without meaning or fuck without feeling. I want to do things differently for once.
After Mark and David I pretty much hated anything with a dick. Unfortunately I am rabidly heterosexual, so despite my misanthropy at the end of the day I still love cock. Fuck. I did by best to meet myself in the middle by rocking the sexual bulimia to great effect: binge and purge, baby! Although I spent years being the faithful anti-slut (despite occasional accusations of the opposite), when I decided to play the field I did so with great voracity and made an art form out of bragging about all the hot ass I bagged and snuck out on the next morning. It was mostly fun and I have some hilarious stories, hot memories, epic blog posts and a clean bill of health, so at the end of the day...wtfever. However, being a player isn't really my thing anymore even if I used to be of rather infamous "evil manipulative nymphomaniac" status at one point. "With great tits comes great responsibility", "when you look into my vagina, my vagina also looks into you" and so on and so forth. Thankfully I outgrew most of that stuff (except the tits) and developed a somewhat stunted but nevertheless present conscience (in relationships - when I'm single the world is my oyster and I likewise swallow it raw and with a shot of vodka).
I have made pretty much every single mistake that there is to be made where love between two people is concerned. I've had just about every insane high and heartrending low. I've had someone die, I've been married and divorced, engaged several times, betrayed, cheated on, loved to the exclusion of all else and have probably heard every bullshit promise and lie ever whispered. Sometimes I wonder what the hell there is left to experience that is actually worth experiencing...different places, different faces? Oh wait...making something happily last more than a year or two, that'd be kinda new! Yeah. So, see all these eggs? This is me putting them in one basket. Let the chips fall where they may. If it fails, billionth time's a charm, maybe.
And if he fucks me over, there is always homicide. :D |
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| buh. |
[Dec. 11th, 2009|10:44 pm] |
I am done with drinking and being social for at least a couple of weeks. All I want to do is play video games and read comic books and pet my cats because I have been doing nothing but drinking and going out since a few days before my birthday, and I'm normally a bit of a hermit. My throat is all raw from all the screaming over loud music that I've been doing. Pouring vodka on it on a regular basis didn't help much, either.
Highlights:
Oh sure. Let's do shots. Great idea.
I'm beginning to notice that all of my female friends are utterly gorgeous.
I am so tired of booze.
...those statements are in no way related. |
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